Scene: A psychiatrist's consulting room
Characters: A psychiatrist, Angela (the psychiatrist's receptionist), seafoodplus.infos, Superman
The receptionist comes in.
Psychiatrist: Who's next, Angela?
Receptionist: There's a man to see you, doctor.
His name is Wilkins. He says he can't talk quietly. He can only shout.
Mr. Wilkins: Can I come in?!!
Psychiatrist: Hmm. Yes, I see. Ask him to come in.
Receptionist: Come in, Mr. Wilkins.
(He comes in. The receptionist
goes out.)
Mr. Wilkins: Thank you! Hello, doctor. Sorry to trouble you.
Psychiatrist: That's all right, Mr. Wilkins. Do sit down. Now what seems to be the trouble?
Mr. Wilkins: ErWell, doctor, I can't talk quietly, I can only shout.
Psychiatrist: (Shouting) How long have you been like this?
Mr. Wilkins: Pardon?
Psychiatrist: (Back to normal) How long have you been like this
Mr. Wilkins: About a week.
Psychiatrist: Well, don't worry. I think you've got a very nice shouting voice.
Mr. Wilkins: But I can't go on like this. I'll lose my job.
Psychiatrist: What is your job?
Mr. Wilkins: I'm a librarian. I work in a library. I can't shout at work, you know
Psychiatrist: In that case, Mr. Wilkins, Ithink you should change your job.
Mr. Wilkins: But what can I do? No one wants a man who can only shout.
Psychiatrist: You could get a job as an English teacher.
Mr. Wilkins: An English teacher?
Psychiatrist: Yes, they shout all the time.
Mr. Wilkins: All right, doctor. I'll do that. Goodbye.
Psychiatrist: Goodbye, Mr. Wilkins. (He leaves, still shouting.)
Mr. Wilkins: Hey, you! Write down this verb!
Receptionist: Goodbye, Mr. Wilkins.
The receptionist comes back into the room.
Receptionist: Is Mr. Wilkins all right, doctor?
Psychiatrist: Yes. He's going to be an English teacher.
Receptionist: Oh.
Psychiatrist: Who's next?
Receptionist: Superman.
Psychiatrist: Superman?
Receptionist: Yes.
Psychiatrist: Oh, I see,. someone who thinks he's Superman.
Receptionist: No, doctor. He really is Superman.
Psychiatrist: What? The big, strong man who flies through the air?
Receptionist: Yes.
Psychiatrist: Oh, I see. Ask him to come in.
Receptionist: Yes, doctor. (To Superman) Come this way, please.
(Superman comes in, very tired and out-of-breath.)
Superman: Thank you.
Psychiatrist: Thank you, Angela. (The receptionist goes out.)
Psychiatrist: Good morning, Mrer
Superman: Superman.
Psychiatrist: Yes, Superman. Do sit down. (Superman sits down.)
Superman: Thank you.
Psychiatrist: Well, what seems to be the trouble?
Superman: Well, doctor, I'm Superman. People think I can do everything, but I can't. I can't do
anything any more.
Psychiatrist: What can't you do?
Superman: I can't climb buildings, I can't lift carsand I can't fly.
Psychiatrist: Well, don't worry. A lot of people have that problem.
Superman: But you don't understand. I'm Superman. If you can't fly, you can't be Superman. It's in the contract.
Psychiatrist: Ah yes, I see.
Superman: In the old days, when people called for Superman, I could run into a telephone box, take
off my boring grey city suit,and become Superman, all in ten seconds. Yesterday, I went
into a telephone box, and it took me fifteen minutes just to take off my trousers. And
when I came out, I couldn't remember where I was going. What do you think of that?
(The psychiatrist is asleep.)
Superman: Eh?
Psychiatrist: (Waking up) Er. What? Pardon?
Superman: What do you think?
Psychiatrist: I think you should change your job.
Superman: But what can I do?
Psychiatrist: Well, you've got a very nice face. You could be a pop singer.
Superman: A pop singer?
Psychiatrist: Yes, I can see it all now. Your name will be in lights! You'll be famous!
Superman: But I am famous. I'm Superman.
Psychiatrist: Not any more. From today, you are Rocky Superdazzle!
Superman: Do you think it's a good idea?
Psychiatrist: Yes, of courseRocky,(The receptionist comes in again.)
Receptionist: Doctor
Psychiatrist: Yes, Angela?
Receptionist: Mr. Wilkins is back again,
(Mr. Wilkins comes in, shouting
as before.)
Mr. Wilkins: Yes, I am. I've changed my mind. I don't want to be an English teacher.
What else can I do?
Psychiatrist: Don't worry, Mr Wilkins. I've got another job for you.
You can work with Rocky Superdazzle here.
Superman: How do you do?
Mr. wilkins: Rocky Superdazzle? That's not Rocky Superdazzle! That's Superman, I saw him in a telephone
box yesterday.
Superman! Huh! It took him fifteen minutes just to take off his trousers.
Psychiatrist: Well, he was Superman, but he's not Superman any more.
I think you can both work together
(A few weeks later, at a pop concert.)
Mr. Wilkins: Ladies and gentlemen, you've heard of Rod Stewart! You've heard of Mick Jagger!
You've heard ofQueen Elizabeth the Second of England! Well, tonight we present a new star
on the pop scene. He's cooler than Rod Stewart! He's wilder than Mick Jagger! And
he'staller than Queen Elizabeth the Second of England! Ladies and gentlemen
- Rocky Superdazzle!
(The audience screams and applauds.)
Superman: Thank you! Thank you very much! Thank you! |
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